It is rather shocking to know that life can end for us instantaneously. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to know when we will die as an example of a medical circumstance.
It is important to cherish the one we love because when they are gone we often regret. Make the best of now so the future is not loss.
I am truly sorry that you had to lose the dearest soul you had. I can't imagine the hurt that you are experiencing. Be patient and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
When I lost someone dear to me. I was lost for a long time. Coming to terms with death is a long an ardous process. The dreams make you feel as if they are alive but they are gone when you wake up.
Be brave, be strong and most importantly don't lose yourself.
Love always.
Zarique
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